declaring a boundary (1 of 2) + a FREE event

I mentioned last year that I wanted to wait on saying much about my book. That I wanted to join conversations.

Since then, I have been joining conversations, which have been so gratifying. I'm also looking forward to hosting a conversation! Details below.

However, before that conversation, I need to declare a boundary. Boundaries get a lot of press these days, for good reason. Declaring boundaries is a powerful practice.

And so is witnessing boundaries. We can do both, together, right now.

My boundary very simple, and you might already be doing it. But just in case you're not, here's what you need to know:
 

~ Do not come at me with unsolicited medical advice. ~

That's it.

Are there exceptions and nuance? Of course, there always are. But if you're not sure of them, then you're not one.

Because some people have read my entire book, and their conversation has been to info-dump unsolicited advice.

This is COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE and DISRESPECTFUL, however well-intentioned.

Before I get into the exceptions, let me explain the problem.

First, the unsolicited part. A description of illness is NOT a request for medical advice. A whole damn BOOK is STILL NOT a request for medical advice.

Don't conflate sharing with asking. If I want medical advice, you'll know, unequivocally—because I will ask, specifically.

I've gotten loads of unsolicited medical advice over the years, and somehow I'm still shocked that people can read Still Moving and decide that medical advice is an appropriate response. It's not. Please don't do it.

And if you haven't, THANK YOU!

The easiest way to check this boundary is also SO SIMPLE:
Ask. Just ask.
Sample script, after you've read an article or book, or listened to someone describing illness:
"Wow, thanks for sharing. I'm sorry you've had this experience. I'd love to share some ideas for treatment that I've heard/read about. Would you like to know more?"
As with any sincere question, be ready for NO as an answer.

And, of course, some exceptions:
~ You have relevant professional experience. You're a clinical herbalist who helps people with chronic illness. Or you're a nurse or a doctor.
~ You have the same illness or something very similar.

Without these exceptions, even if you've done your own research, there is NO WAY you've out-researched me.
(It's never happened.)

Even if you have this level of nuance, I still recommend asking first. You still might get no as an answer.

For example, when I meet long-haulers, I don't offer advice. UNLESS THEY ASK. And even then, I ask some qualifying questions first, to determine whether I think my advice will be useful.

People with Long Covid and other illnesses manage this situation in different ways. The boundary I have to declare:

~ If you come to me with unsolicited medical advice, I will not respond. No exceptions. ~

If you really, really have something to share, see above about asking first.

So, with that boundary declared, people who purchased Still Moving in 2023 are invited to an online gathering!
WHEN: Thursday, January 25th @ 7:00pm US Eastern
WHERE: Zoom link, sent to you after you RSVP
WHAT: A mix of Q&A, writing/creativity exercise, and a short sound journey.

If you ordered the book in 2023 and want to attend, just reply to this email.

Thank you for witnessing my boundary. I hope you extend this practice, whether declaring or witnessing, to someone else today. And every day.


Gratefully,
S.

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