Women are often conditioned that their primary currency is attractiveness and youthful appearance, to hustle for the closest possible proximity to unattainable standards.

Which means that their visibility has a shelf life.

Many well-meaning women, some of whom identified as feminists, told me that I always needed to be thin—and therefore attractive—if I wanted to be successful in life. In other words, the longer a woman appears young and attractive, the more time she has to be seen and appreciated.

BUT – that time is limited, because aging is your enemy.

I think they were truly trying to be practical and helpful, because pretty privilege is real.

But it's a terrible thing to tell a 7-year-old.

I learned very early that beauty is essential yet impossible, and that aging is a real loss.

Which is terrible, because aging brings tremendous blessings. It's telling in our culture how little we revere elders, and how much people are conditioned to hate aging, which is the most natural experience in everyone’s lives.

Instead, so many women waste time, energy, attention at chasing the impossible and believing it worthy.

And even if you don’t want to chase the impossible—because you know it’s not worthy—you’re often chafing under the pressure and expectations anyway.

Witnessing women over 40 amplifying themselves gives me so much inspiration and hope. I absolutely love encountering women who age without diminishing themselves.

Who claim their space, who use their voice, who express themselves fully. Who lean into their confidence, honesty, freedom, and pleasure.

Because when they abandon that chase for unattainable standards, they have time, energy, attention to do things that truly matter.

The best part is that there's so much diversity. I know women who love to go super glam and I know women who live in sweats. Regardless of outward appearance, they determine for themselves what's meaningful.

What matters is that they continue to be visible and seen, even if cultural standards insist they aren’t youthful or pretty enough to be seen.